• Eva

If you think you're enlightened...

I’m on the train on my way to my hometown, to spend some much longed for time at my mom’s for the holidays. Being on the way home to family I can’t help but thinking of this meme I read (re-read, but it’s equally good each time) last night, saying: “If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family”.

And that’s funny cause it’s oh so true.

Seriously, what’s up with behaving like a 10 year old as soon as you get together with family members? I have my shit somewhat together nowadays, after years and years of hard work, and I am patient, loving, understanding and accepting towards others most of the time. And yet, I’ve noticed, that as soon as I get together with my mom and my sister at the same time something changes. I sort of lose my zen, to put it nicely. Not that I get angry or anything like that (still working on finding and expressing anger) but it’s as if all those years of hard work disappear and my otherwise cool self turns pretty uncool.

So I talked about this sensation of turning into someone else while spending time with family at my yoga class today, you know this “last class before Christmas so let’s prep for what is to come” thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many “I totally hear you and agree with you” nods. It seems to be a somewhat universal thing..?

What I keep asking myself is WHY? Why on earth can’t we stay cool just because old constellations appear and we are challenged by familiar power dynamics? Are we doomed to stay 10 years old each holiday season?

This year I’m performing an experiment. I’ll stay cool. Np matter what, I’ll stay cool. And when it’s hard I’ll breathe deeper. Maybe do a handstand. Maybe talk about it without sounding judgmental or offensive (is that possible?? Well, I mean, I’m usually pretty good at words so it shouldn’t be impossible, right?). Maybe re-draw patterns and change automatic behavior. I’ll stay cool. I refuse to do anything but enjoy this season to the fullest!

And if I can, so can you.

Good luck!

Happy Holidays!

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